FACT 1
once i made about three pounds of macaroni for a halloween party!
fact 2
on multiple occasions i have followed stray/wandering cats just to pet them.
fact 3
someone was offering free puppies so i just took one and carried him home. he is now three years old!
fact 4
i have all the star wars movies downloaded to my computer, but have never watched a single one.
fact 5
i have tried learning russian multiple times, and every time i eventually stopped. one day!
fact 6
i love candles and essential oils, but i dont use them often.

higgzorz:

at this point the only way a zombie movie could be interesting is if the main character is into vore and their friends have to stop them from letting themselves get eaten

octagonapus97:
“ pupom:
“ godpenis:
“ edwadrules2:
“ tricksterity:
“ muuuuuuuuuuuuuuurdock:
“ despairlass:
“ homuratrash:
“ guy at disney: sir? stitch, a small logic defying blue alien from outer fucking space, needs a heterosexual romance
disney...

octagonapus97:

pupom:

godpenis:

edwadrules2:

tricksterity:

muuuuuuuuuuuuuuurdock:

despairlass:

homuratrash:

guy at disney: sir? stitch, a small logic defying blue alien from outer fucking space, needs a heterosexual romance

disney ceo: okay….but we gotta know she’s Female, do u understand? ….she needs long antennae..like long hair..mascara…smooth chest that sticks out a little more because we need to be reminded that she still got titties even tho she’s a tiny fucking alien

guy at disney: should we make her pink, sir?

disney ceo: ricky you goddamn genius. here are my keys. go to my house and fuck my wife

Angel was created via design contest by a child named Kim, not some guy at Disney.

Check the wiki

And how do I know??? Because I, at age 7, was so paranoid about my parents finding out I submitted to the contest “without parent permission” that I submitted as “Kim (Possible)” instead of my name

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This is so awkward and embarrassing lol

IM SCREAMING LMAO I DIDN’T SEE THE SECOND PART OF THE POST

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Link: [x]
Original post: [x]
Tag on their blog: [x]

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This has been a wild ride

stacylaynematthews:

fuks:

summary of a party i went to last night

this is the best vine I’ve ever seen

kiokushitaka:
“ nijuukoo:
“ breaking-banjos:
“ gician:
“ justalifelongphase:
“ officialarmatoloi:
“ critical-perspective:
“ tunte:
“ Why
”
This is demonstrating why you absolutely do not pour water on a grease fire.
”
holy shit
”
Okaaaay. If any of...

kiokushitaka:

nijuukoo:

breaking-banjos:

gician:

justalifelongphase:

officialarmatoloi:

critical-perspective:

tunte:

Why

This is demonstrating why you absolutely do not pour water on a grease fire.

holy shit

Okaaaay. If any of you actually have a grease fire in the kitchen put the lid on the pan. It will suffocate the flames. Don’t pour water on it, and don’t freak out. Cook safely!

Or throw flour on it to smother it.

/quick safety announcement

NO, DO NOT USE FLOUR, DO NOT USE FLOUR TO SMOTHER A FIRE.

YOU HAVE TO USE BAKING SODA.

Throwing flour into a fire can cause it to combust and make the fire worse because FLOUR/SUGAR IS FLAMMABLE. One cup of flour into a grease fire can have the explosive force of dynamite.

The reason you use baking soda is that it releases carbon dioxide when heated, and CO2 is a fire suppressant.

REBLOGGING FOR LAST COMMENT TO SAVE LIVES

signs as bad porn titles from pornhub
  • Aries: Old Ass Women That's About To Die Gets Fucked?
  • Taurus: Adolf Hitler painting destroyed by my big black cock
  • Gemini: Baby thrown off balcony
  • Cancer: It's Okay Mom I'm Here
  • Leo: I DON'T KNOW WTF IS GOING ON... BUT THE FROG FUCKS GOOD
  • Virgo: Please Santa Drill My Ass
  • Libra: MEME ORGY GETS NASTY
  • Scorpio: Not The Cosbys But Close Enough
  • Sagittarius: Willy Wonka And The Fudge Packing Factory
  • Capricorn: Mom's spaghetti
  • Aquarius: Shrek
  • Pisces: SONIC HAVING ORGASMS

vulturesintrees:

I can’t wait to turn 21 so I can buy myself 40 margaritas and then die

rockybreaux:
“ profashionall:
“ never forget
”
i feel like my computer is gonna catch a virus just reblogging this…
”

rockybreaux:

profashionall:

never forget

i feel like my computer is gonna catch a virus just reblogging this…

romangodfrey:

keep your friends close, but your enemies closer

like really, very close

intimately close 

so close that you can feel your enemies breath on your neck

and you shiver with hatred and… anticipation? 

turn around and look deep into your enemies eyes, letting your gaze drag down to their lips, your eyes intense with desire. push your enemies up against the wall.

make out with your enemies.

your friends, who are still close, are super uncomfortable and kinda grossed out

shiningdraw:

SOME NIGHTS I STAY UP CASHING IN MY BAD LUCK