memeufacturing:

come on guys we can do this 

slightly-oblivvyous:

y'know what’s great? my cat. y'know what else is great? your cat. your neighbor’s cat. that cat that hangs out near the library. literally every cat in the universe is great. what a world.

higgzorz:

at this point the only way a zombie movie could be interesting is if the main character is into vore and their friends have to stop them from letting themselves get eaten

ogrl:

me: hey where’s the bathroom
person from California: well, take a right out the front door, get into an uber, take the 101 to the 110, get back on San Vicente, take it to the 10 then la cienega north, switch over to the 405 and let it dump you out to mulholland, look for Lowe’s, the one on Pinko, go down sunset and runyon canyon, take a left in the lot and look for Ethan. ask him how to get to the in n out in Burbank, then cut across tahini to chop off a solid ten minyutes. get on the 5, switch to the 73 to where it connects to the 45, when you see Disney Concert Hall, stop and GET OUT
me: thanks. i’ll piss in the yard

xiaodiyo:

my phone: Storage Almost Full 

me: be quiet

roxiethehalfninja:

madqueenalanna:

Given that I think “My Immortal” is a troll (with the reason generally being that author Tara references both Marty McFly and TOM BOMBADIL), I just reread it and I’m astounded by the effort put into it.

The spelling and grammar gets steadily worse over the course of the story, messing up simple words and even the main character’s name (variations on Ebony include Enoby, Enony, Eboby, and my favorite Enopby). The author gives frequent shoutouts in the A/N at the beginning of each chapter to someone called Raven, who she considers a friend and apparently functions as a beta. In chapter 16, Tara severs ties with Raven, expels/murders Raven’s character Willow, and changes Ebony’s full name to Ebony Dark’ness Dementia TARA Way. It’s suggested that they fought because Tara stole Raven’s poster of Gerard Way. By chapter 17, they appear to have made up and Willow is brought back with no further explanation.

The plot, of course, is just insane, but the story was obviously being read; Tara begins each chapter furiously ranting about “flamerz” leaving bad reviews, terribly misspelled. At one point, Ebony was referred to as a Mary Sue and she immediately tried to shut that down, citing “Satanism” and “depression” as flaws. She held each new chapter hostage, demanding a certain number (usually 5) good reviews before she would update. Assuming the spelling and grammar mistakes were intentional, the natural progression of them getting worse and worse is incredible. The difference between Tara’s A/Ns and Raven’s edited text is also astounding, although chapter 16, during their supposed rift, is not noticeably more poorly written than the chapters immediately preceding and following it.

The misspellings of character names and general slipups get worse and worse to the point that once, “Enopby” is referred to as “Tara”, and at another point, “TaEnby”, further to emphasize that Ebony is, in fact, the most obvious self insert in the history of literature. The reference to Marty McFly (he appears at the end of chapter 35 to spirit Ebony into the future) confounds me; Tara does not seem like she’d been aware of pop culture enough to have seen “Back to the Future”, given that she describes “The Nightmare Before Christmas” as this serious, depressing, Adult movie. She’s young enough to consider “he put his thingy into my tool” an accurate description of sex. Further, she references Tom Bombadil, a character in “Lord of the Rings” who I believe just shows up and sings for a while and is strongly implied to be God and then disappears, not really relevant to anything. He’s not even in the movies. Would Tara Gilesbie have read “Lord of the Rings” when she admits she’s never read the Harry Potter books?

Read through that lens (that this was an elaborate hoax), can you believe the rest of it was so organically terrible? Even now, 10+ years after the fact, no one can agree on whether this story is a troll, and until anyone finds out who Tara Gilesbie really is, it’s going to be impossible to know for sure. This is just crazy to me.

I have done extensive digging on this subject, and there is a lot more to My Immortal than meets the eye. Read as a troll, this story is a brilliant piece of satire on fan fiction. It incorporates so many cliches of the genre, especially those from the early to mid 2000′s. The obviously self-inserted Mary-Sue (mentioned above) along with unnecessary and unexplained crossovers, nonsensical sex scenes, and allusion to scene culture and pop punk music. Not to mention the story outside the story, Tara and Raven’s falling out, critiquing the culture of A/N’s and reviews. The tropes and cliches are far too obvious and overplayed to be sincere. I am a true believer that Tara was not only a troll, but a genius of satire. After all, if it was truly so bad, it would not have survived mixed in with ten years of equally terrible fan fiction. The legend of this story is so *ehem* immortal it has sparked heated debate in the online community for years, and was even made into a web series. (https://vimeo.com/70381882) Whether you believe it was satire or not, there is something about My Immortal that is inherently fascinating. Even if it was not her intention, Tara has created the bad fan fiction. It is a perfect storm of chaotic, nonsensical drama spiraling around the least original character ever written. Story lines are dropped and picked up again seemingly at random, characters and names are inconsistent to the point of being unintelligible, and there is no consistent overarching plot. In a sense, it is the anti-story, because it so decidedly defies every literary rule in the book. Either we are drawn to My Immortal as one watches a car wreck in awe, or because it satirizes the worst aspects of every story we have ever read. Regardless, the legacy of My Immortal will live on, either as a warning, or a work of pure genius.

funkybug:

sorry babe i couldnt afford an engagement ring but heres a meme i printed out and taped to a rock

getoffmybloghoe:

no mom it’s art *continues to glue cheetos onto the dog*

terriamon:

mailman: *tries to put mail in my doors mail slot*

me: *shoves my sword through and goes for the knees*

dftba99:

dreemurr-the-dank-meemurr:

So apparently I just picked up an $8,000 organ off of the curb

The few seconds before I realized you meant the instrument were terrifying

ernoji:

tru friends ignore each other’s acne

weavemama:

I can’t wait till women feel safe I can’t wait till black people feel safe I can’t wait till gay and trans people feel safe I can’t wait till Muslim people feel safe I can’t wait till Hispanic people feel safe I can’t wait till Asian people feel safe I can’t wait till all minorities wake up in the morning with a sense of tranquility and security and not have to deal with fighting for a basic human right that’s been deserved upon since the beginning

beforerains:

I can’t believe some of things u people make me read with my own two eyes